How to ditch the barn drama
so you can get back to having fun with your horse!
Horse people are highly driven, passionate, heavily invested, and usually a bit quirky – get a bunch of them together and sooner or later there is bound to be drama.
Over the years I’ve had the joy of working with all kinds of kinds in the horse world. Needless to say, I have learned a ton about minimizing drama.
I’ve distilled down my best tips into this handy list help you diffuse the barn drama in your life so you can get back to focusing on what really matters – your horse!
Your guide to minimizing barn drama
1. The thing you need to understand
The first thing you must know is… We all love our horses. We are all passionate. We are all doing the best we can with our current circumstances, knowledge, and resources. Read that last sentence again.
2. Let go!
Letting someone else’s actions take up free space in your head is a horrendous waste of resources. Your brainpower and emotional energy could be fueling your next equine adventure instead of ruminating on a situation that you can’t change. If you’re ready to take a deeper dive into this one, I would recommend checking out Bredon Burchard’s post on apologies and forgiveness right here.
3. Throwing fuel on the fire
One person can make all the difference. Just about every barn has at least one person that likes to stir the pot. They tend to be geared toward pointing out the negative and are hung up on shifting their energy and focus to others rather than focusing on what is working. On the flip side, one person set on spreading good vibes, dissipating negative energy, helping others to be more open-minded can shut down the drama lovers and change the whole vibe of the barn. Choose to be the force for good. Bring positive energy. You can either get wrapped up in what’s not working or you can view the universe as happening for you not to you. For more on this idea I would check out my post We’re all different and it’s all good.
4. Zoom out
Look at the situation from an expanded point of view. Finding understanding and compassion for others will bring you a tremendous amount of emotional freedom. Being an observer will help you recognize that you don’t need to react to every situation. If you catch yourself getting caught up remember your feelings are not permanent. Shift your focus toward action steps that will improve the situation, rather than fuel the drama.
5. Make no assumptions
Don’t make assumptions. Either you know the facts of a situation or you don’t. Guessing about the motives and actions of others only muddies the water. If you’ve got questions just ask (see number seven for more pointers on this one).
Be clear with your boundaries ahead of time – if you don’t know what you’re ok with how will anyone else.
7. Open communication with neutral energy
Be direct without making others become defensive or feel like they are being put on the spot.
- Speak up without adding unnecessary negative energy
- Keep the facts simple and strait without blaming others
- Express how the situation affects you and your horse rather than pointing fingers at what someone else is doing wrong