This was one of the first pieces that I created for the Insightful Inspiration Gallery but I didn’t sit down to actually journal on it until this week. The horse in this photo is one of the most important horses that I’ve had in my life. Many of us have “that one horse” that makes us see things differently. They change who we are as a person. Queenie was that horse for me. She was a stunning combination of confidence, patience, warm-hearted openness, and enthusiasm for life.
For the longest time, I followed my dream of wanting to work with horses into various jobs in the industry. With each path, there were things that I absolutely loved. But there were other parts that felt like I was off task and parts that were heart-wrenching. I understand every career has downsides and nothing is going to fit perfectly. I thought I could just overlook the parts that didn’t quite sit right. Stay focused on being grateful to be working with horses. This was a self-destructive way of thinking. And Queenie was the one that insisted that some things are not to be compromised. She held higher standards. Insisted that we must not only acknowledge our feelings but actually do something about them.
One night at feeding time she didn’t go eat her feed. Instead, she walked up to me looked into my eyes and put her muzzle on my heart. I had been having an especially hard time with feeling like the horses and I were constantly being asked for more from people. It was wrong to be relentlessly asking them for more like they owed us something. I knew it wasn’t right but I wasn’t doing enough about it. The incongruency was exhausting. She just stayed there on my heart. I felt an overwhelming sense of comfort and confidence. She let me know that I didn’t need to have all the answers. At that moment I knew I needed to stop worrying about how everything would work out and just start making small changes. She showed me when something doesn’t feel right sit with it. Get quiet, listen.
On the day she died, I wrote this in her honor.
As she graces us with her brilliant spirit
We are genuinely blessed just to be in her presence
An elegant being, with enduring resilience and strength
She holds keen insights into life’s lessons
Patiently she shares the answers with each of us
Unselfishly she asks for nothing in return
Her authentic wisdom thrives on in the souls of many
As she generously leaves us with such precious gifts
Our enduring appreciation for her will carry on forever
She’s been gone for five years. Sometimes it feels like a lifetime without her. Sometimes it feels like she never left. Like she is with me for every important moment in my life. Always guiding me.